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What is the boy crisis?


It's a crisis of education. Worldwide, boys are 50 percent less likely than girls to meet basic proficiency in reading, math, and science.


It's a crisis of mental health. ADHD is on the rise. And as boys become young men, their suicide rates go from equal to girls to six times that of young women.


It's a crisis of fathering. Boys are growing up with less-involved fathers and are more likely to drop out of school, drink, do drugs, become delinquent, and end up in prison.


It's a crisis of purpose. Boys' old sense of purpose-being a warrior, a leader, or a sole breadwinner-are fading. Many bright boys are experiencing a "purpose void," feeling alienated, withdrawn, and addicted to immediate gratification.


So, what is The Boy Crisis? A comprehensive blueprint for what parents, teachers, and policymakers can do to help our sons become happier, healthier men, and fathers and leaders worthy of our respect.

The Boy Crisis: Why Our Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It

Introduction









My Personal Journey into The Boy Crisis











PART I: Is There Really a Boy Crisis?





1 The Crisis of Our Sons' Mental Health











2 The Crisis of Our Sons' Physical Health











3 The Crisis of Our Sons' Economic Health











4 The Crisis of Our Sons' Education











5 The Crisis of Our Sons Worldwide











6 Why Are We So Blind to the Boy Crisis?











PART II: Why the Boy Crisis Isn't Your Fault





7 The Boy Crisis: A Problem Created by a Solution











PART III: The Purpose Void

8 The Path-to-Purpose Generation Gap









The Power of Purpose





"I never thought you cared enough to ask."







Your Son's Unconscious Wisdom

Can a "Real Man" Transition from Provider-Protector to Nurturer-Connector?











9 The "Hero Paradox": Value Yourself by Not Valuing Yourself









A Hero with a Thousand Faces

The Sirens of Social Bribes





Social bribes: Mom, men, the media, the military







The Catch-22 of Your Son-as-Hero











10 Why Do More Marriages Fail in Countries That Succeed?









The father's catch-22

The Era of the Multi-Option Mom and the No-Option Dad

How Did Our Daughters Avoid the Purpose Void?

"Sorry, It's a Boy"











11 How Raising Our Sons Successfully in the Past Differs from Raising Our Sons Successfully for Their Future









Making Money Versus Making a Difference

How to Guide Different Boys Toward Different Senses of Purpose

Our Sons' New Sense of Purpose: The Hero's Journey to Emotional Intelligence

Son-Dropping











12 Raising a Balanced Son in an Out-of-Balance World









What Happened to Pick-Up Team Sports?

Helping Your Son Find His "Edge"

Filling Your Son's Purpose Void: Your Son as Hero











PART IV: Dad-Deprived Boys vs. Dad-Enriched Boys

13 Dad-Deprived Boys









Boys Who Hurt, Hurt Us





The Lost Boys: Mass shooters

ISIS: A gang of dad-deprived boys?







Bio Dad: The Discovery of the Dad Brain

Careers Are for Now; Children Are Forever

The Absence of Dad Creates the Presence of Government











14 Why Are Dads So Important?









Let Me Count the Ways











15 Rediscovering Dad









The Generation of the Dad Rich Versus the Dad Poor

When Does Dad Begin to Matter?

Stepdad or Bio Dad: Does it Make a Difference?











16 What Dads Do Differently









Boundary Enforcement (Versus Boundary Setting)

Exploring Nature, Taking Risks

Roughhousing: Dad as a Rough, Tough Cream Puff

"Teachable Moments": A Little Pain for a Lot of Gain

Challenging the Kids' Limits

Hangout Time

Teasing: Emotional Intelligence Training, Dad-Style?

The Conditional or Hierarchical Dad

The Worrier and the Warrior: The Checks and Balances of Parenting











17 In the Case of Divorce . . . The Four "Must-Dos"











18 The Father Warrior: Why Fathering Will Be a New Male Sense of Purpose









com: The Father Warrior Meets the Have-It-All Woman

If Men Get Paid More, Is It Realistic for a Dad to Be the Primary Parent?











19 DAD: Discrimination Against Dads









"It Doesn't Feel Right When I See Them Together"

Moms Have the Right to Children, Dads Have to Fight for Children

How Did Father Knows Best Become Father Knows Less?

Guiding Your Son to "Make a Difference"











20 The Best Parent is Both Parents, But . . .









The Best "Parent" is an Attitude Shift





Fighting in front of the kids

No one asked why the men were drinking

Cheap fun for dad and son

Dad-inspiring movies







When the Best "Parent" Cannot Be Both Parents





The Cub Scouts and character

Mentoring and rite-of-passage programs

Grandfather time

When the biological father is missing, can God the Father help?

















21 From "Cultural Shrug" to Cultural Shift









Kill Today, Love Tomorrow: The Military Dad Dilemma

From Father's Dime to Father's Time

The Government: As Problem, as Solution





Creating a White House Council on Boys and Men







Our Dads, Our Sons, Our Guns











22 Creating Dad-Enriched Families











PART V: Heroic Intelligence Versus Health Intelligence





23 Heroic Intelligence Versus Health Intelligence









Biologically, Girls Just Live Longer, Right?

Social Bribes: Hollywood-Heroic Health Versus Mental and Physical Health





Does the new heroine mean your son won't have to risk his life for her love?







Health Intelligence Inventory

Boys' Weakness as Their Facade of Strength

Your Son's Body, Not His Choice





"First and ten, concussion again!"

My son wants to join the military. Is this good news or bad news?







Your Son's Body, Your Son's Choice: Resisting the Sirens of Social Bribes











24 Emotional Intelligence and Mental Health









The Barriers to a Boy's Emotional Intelligence

Behind Your Son's Mask





"I'm fine . . . Just leave me alone."

Helping your son take risks in life without risking his life







How Heroic Intelligence and Emotional Intelligence Play Out in Everyday Life





Moving to better neighborhoods helps girls and hurts boys

The bully and the bullied

Helping both the bully and the bullied







Eighteen Steps Toward Integrating Emotional and Physical Health Intelligence into Heroic Intelligence











25 Reversing Depression, Preventing Suicide









Causes of Suicide





Women cry, men die

If no human doing, no human being

Suicide is contagious







Diagnosing Danger: The Warren Farrell Male Depression/Suicide Inventory (WFMDI)

Preventing Suicide











26 Hidden Hazards to Your Son's Health









The "Sperm Crisis": To Be, or Not to Be

Drinking and Drugs

The Unholy Trinity: Obesity, Diabetes, and Erectile Dysfunction











27 From Hurt People Hurting People to Healed People Healing People









Refilling the Empathy Void

Couples' Communication: Your Children's Best Inheritance











PART VI: ADHD: Treatment With or Without Medication





28 The New Neural Crisis









A New Spin on ADHD











29 The Four Faces of ADHD











30 The Many Causes of ADHD









Addressing the Cause to Heal the Brain











31 Natural Solutions to Restore Dopamine Function











32 Natural Supplements for Better Brain Performance











Conclusion









Your Mission: Guiding Your Son to Discover His Mission

Extending Gender Liberation to Dads

From Cultural Shrug to Cultural Mission: A Gender Liberation Movement











Appendix A: Family Dinner Night: The Five Essentials





Appendix B: The Boy Crisis List: The Benefits of Dad, the Dangers of Dad Deprivation





Bibliography











Acknowledgments





About the Authors